i cant stop checking my email. i have been sitting here all day looking. i am really worried. she is probably just somewhere that she doesnt have email, or maybe she just doesnt want to check her email. yeah. maybe that is it. i hope so. that worst thing that could happen is that she is hurt. yeah. i really hope that everything is ok. i dont want her to hurt herself either. i just had that picture. please dont let it be that. i have to do something to get this off my mind. she is probably okay... let me talk about something else.... i have been listening to the same CD all day. it reminds me of Bea. the Hard Candy. I remember sing at the top of our lungs in the car to that album. yeah. it made me so happy. :) maybe we will get to do it again. hopefully. i really want to. really really... AHH! i am such an idiot. i through everything away. i should have given her mroe attention, and been happy all the time so that she would be happy too. yeah... it will try to do that now... ok. there im happy... :) i want her back so badly. i want to c her. i was going to c her so soon. i would have been with her now... thats were she is... she is arriving in texas. i was going to be there. i would have been so happy. that would have made my year. it would have been all worth it. ok. i better go now...